Being a woman and a dreamer

I’m going to turn 25 this year. They say, it’s a silver age. My friends start sending me wedding invitation, even some of them starts bringing their children to our reunion party, and then… here I am, just about to start my master study this year while at the same time I’m having a serious relationship with a man.

I will start my master course this September in Belgium, while he is currently taking his PhD in mathematics in Australia. It’s going to be a northern & southern hemisphere long distance relationship now. Previously we had 3 – 4 hours time difference between Jakarta and Canberra, and now if we are lucky, we are going to have 8 hours and we are going to go through 10 hours difference for 6 months.

Everyone starts asking: ‘So how’s your relationship with him going to be?’

Today I met one of Mas H’s friend, let’s call her Ms. N. She’s just about the same age as us. She’s currently working in a good place (like almost every fresh economic graduates’ dream). She just came back after visiting her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her if she wants to move with him so that they can stay in the same country and have no more LDR – for you who never have LDR, yes it sucks! – Then she told her boyfriend that she is not ready yet, not now and please give her another two years at least.

I call it: injury time.

Mas H had ever asked me the same before. After he moved to Australia, he asked me whether I want to reunite with him the soonest. At that time, I asked him the same, to give me an injury timeIt doesn’t mean that I don’t love him or I have doubt on him or our relationship – if I may tell, he’s the man for me – but for now, I want to think what do I really want in my life? (of course, other than just be with him).

During job interviews that I had, if they asked me about what I am going to be in the next five years, I always said: it depends on how my career goes and whether or not I get a scholarship. If my career goes well, I want to have an international career. But if I get a scholarship (and I only one specific major), I really want to be a researcher. Once, they had ever asked what is my dream job: sexy researcher (hahaha… you may laugh on it).

It has been three years now since I got my first job interview and I may say: I had my career. I worked in an international company and I handled two countries only in my one and a half year career. And now, here I am… Got an offering from the university and major that I’ve been dreaming for so long.

Some girls may grow up with dream of being a devoted housewife, a bright and caring mother, a career woman, a business woman, a lawyer, a doctor, a socialite, a fashion designer, and many others.

Some girls grow up and still feel confidence about what they are going to be.

Some girls are forced to let their dreams go by unwanted conditions as they grow up.

While some other girls, like me, have more time to think: what do we really want to be in life?

And thank God, He sends me Mas H who says, “Just go. I don’t want you to have any regrets in life, especially when this life is our lives. I ain’t go anywhere… And we both know, in the end we are going to be together. No matter how hard the road may take, no matter how long it may take, and no matter how far you are from me. I want to be your partner who will dream and work together with you to make it becomes true.”

God, how lucky I am, to be a woman and (still) be a dreamer with wonderful man besides me. Please keep him safe for me…


3 thoughts on “Being a woman and a dreamer

  1. Pingback: Self contemplation: Dark Sky | DeaR

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